"Say no to many things, so that you have room and the opportunity to say yes to great things." - Sean McCabe
Perhaps you can relate when I say it's difficult to say no to people. It's especially challenging to say no to the ones you love, family, friends, or significant others.
I have a lofty goal of getting out of debt.
Most of my debt is from student loans. There are so many things I wish I knew ahead of time and there are so many things I wish I did differently, but rather than continuing to reminisce over past times I am making the changes now.
“I can’t keep telling myself that I am going to get out of debt,
yet all my actions point to me carelessly spending the money I do have.”
I need to commit to getting out of debt by being wiser in my spending habits - and to do that I have to say no to the little things that add up.
I am learning how to invest, save, pay down my debt and have the courage to say no to the things I simply cannot afford.
In the past two months, I was approached by a few people to design a logo. There are several reasons I turned down the requests that came my way.
The Reasons of Why I recently Said No
- I am still in the early stages of hand lettering. I have yet to explore varying styles and I am in the process of building my work and my portfolio, I want to be sure that I am the right person for my future clients.
- I am building credibility. By writing and documenting my process, my future clients and collaboration partners will know what to expect from me.
- Saying no allows for the time I need to keep practicing. When I say yes to something I want to commit to it whole-heartedly. I want my yes to hold weight and meaning.
- I want to be sure that I am saying yes to the right client.
Consider this:
No is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Know your values, and be sure they are uncompromising. When saying no, the other person may not feel your reasons are justified - especially when you offer up an explanation.
Work on consciously saying NO.
Never say maybe when you want to say no. You'll mislead others and give them a false sense of hope. Learn to say no when you mean no and say yes when you mean yes.
Remember your goals!
I can't stress this enough. I entered youngyetwise roth ira challenge for 2016. I also have my goals for my design studio, and simply being debt free. When I was working for a bank, I shared my goal of wanting to be debt free. Out of a branch of about 13 women (myself included) there were only about 3 people that believed me when I said I wanted and will be debt free. They believed that debt is inevitable, unavoidable, and a part of life. I believe that debt happens because we aren't educated on finances and the way money works. I made a mindset change a long time ago. Now I am taking the steps necessary to reach that goal.
Why We Say Yes
We say yes because have a sense of obligation, we owe someone. Sometimes we feel indebted to someone because of what they've done for us. Saying no comes off as being mean and you don't want to disappoint people.
Ask Yourself This Question:
“Do you want to disappoint other people or do you want to disappoint the future version of yourself? Either way you’ll disappoint someone. ”
Say no to the wrong clients.
Say no to the wrong ideas.
Say no to the wrong opportunities.
Say no to the wrong circumstances - even if they are willing to pay you money. By saying yes you give up that time.
By saying no to these things you'll make room to say yes to the right things like trips, conferences, spending time with your loved ones and saying yes to the right clients.
Analyze By Asking These Questions:
Is this working?
Is the way the relationship set up and
is the amount I'm getting paid worth it?
Is the process the way I want it to work? If not, is there room to make that relationship an ideal?
Ask yourself:
- Am I spending enough time to be healthy as a person (physically, mentally, spiritually)?
- Am I giving myself enough margin?
- Am I spending enough time with my family, spouse, kids?
Other people won't be aware of where you want to go and what your goals are. You have to know when to say, "No Thank you".
Why You Say No:
It's your tool for creating time.
It gives you credits for being able to say yes.
We say no to make room to say yes to the things that are important.
What To Say Yes To
The takeaway from this is not just why to say no or how to say no, it’s about setting up your ability to say yes. Start with the important things first and then work backwards:
- What do you want to say yes to?
- What are the things you can’t say yes to right now that you want to say yes to?
- What do you need to say no to first in order to enable to your yes?
- How much do you care about the quality of your yes?
I suggest taking the time out and answering these questions honestly for yourself. Choose one thing to focus on, learn to say no to the things that are eating up your time. Get rid of the time wasters so you can say yes to the important things.